Open to What May Come—Moving Beyond Expectations

In this insightful article, yoga teacher Christine Malossi writes that moving beyond expectations and cultivating openness of mind and heart means opening to the unpleasant sensations as well as the pleasant, to the uncomfortable moments as well as the comfortable ones. But once we open up and fully experience these moments, we’ve cultivated mindfulness in a way that prepares us for whatever life throws at us.

Last year, I went on a silent retreat at the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. A simple, elegant Japanese calligraphy painting hung in one of the main building’s hallways. Each time I passed this painting I paused to read the words written in delicate strokes: “Try not to expect anything; in this way everything will open up to you.”  Each time I read these words, I think of the many expectations I carry with me in various situations in my life, particularly in my yoga practice.

We come to yoga for different reasons, with various goals, motivations, desires, wishes, and expectations. Perhaps you practice yoga because your hamstrings are tight, you suffer from lower back pain, or you want to tone your abs, thighs, or arms. Maybe you have a stressful job and are seeking a safe space to release anxiety. Or perhaps you enjoy the peaceful glow of serenity that you experience after an hour of asana practice. Maybe yoga is your spiritual practice, and you’re seeking no less than enlightenment.

Setting the Right Kind of Goals

The reasons to practice yoga are seemingly endless. However, while we come to yoga for our own reasons, these reasons often set up rigid expectations of what we want to accomplish and what we plan to get from yoga. It’s certainly not bad or wrong to have these goals; they can be invaluable in our efforts to progress in our practice. However, with setting goals comes the danger of becoming too narrowly focused on our desires for specific outcomes. When this happens, we close ourselves to a wide spectrum of experiences.

With just a small shift in approach, we can work towards our goals, but also open ourselves up to the full range of possibilities that exist in each moment of our practice. We can fully acknowledge our expectations; then put them aside; then open the mind and heart to whatever each moment brings. We can approach our yoga practice with a playful curiosity: “I wonder what will happen today?”

Cultivating this openness of mind and heart is not always easy. It means opening to unpleasant sensations as well as pleasant ones, to uncomfortable moments as well as comfortable ones, to annoyance, boredom, and impatience as well as serenity, peace, and calm.

We must open to the sheer frustration of being unable to touch our toes in Paschimottanasana (Seated Forward Fold) just as readily as we do to the sweet relief of resting in Balasana (Child’s Pose). With an expansive, open mind and heart, we pay the same bare attention to each and every thought, emotion, and physical sensation without judging, clinging, or pushing away.

The Inevitable Unpleasantness

Why would we want to open up to these unpleasant experiences anyway? Why not pursue only moments of pleasure and delight? Wouldn’t this be the key to more happiness? No matter how hard we try to create only lovely experiences in our lives, inevitably, dark times occur. We’ve all been through them. Sometimes, they creep up unexpectedly and blindside us; sometimes, they burst onto the scene and are gone almost as quickly; sometimes, they linger for days, months, and years.

If we’ve only ever opened ourselves to pleasure and pushed away or suppressed the unpleasant, we have no way to deal with these difficult times. However, if we’ve taken the mindfully aware approach towards the annoyances and frustrations we encounter if we’ve chosen to open up and fully experience these moments, we’ve cultivated mindfulness in a way that prepares us for whatever life throws at us. We can stay and weather the most challenging situations with calm strength and steady equanimity rather than being swept away into darkness and despair by the powerful wave of our emotions.

You could practice this approach the very next time you come onto your yoga mat. Before you begin moving, take a moment to sit and be still. Contemplate what motivates you to practice. Acknowledge this motivation and then put it aside. Open yourself to whatever might come up today. Try not to expect anything; in this way, everything will open up to you.

Christine Malossi, RYT is based in New York City, where she offers a mindful, alignment-focused Vinyasa practice that cultivates balance, awareness and equanimity. In addition to teaching private clients and group classes at studios throughout Manhattan, she also teaches at the Spencer Cox Center for Health at Mount Sinai Hospital’s Institute for Advanced Medicine, where she designs a practice specifically tailored to patients diagnosed with HIV and other chronic illnesses. Christine is honored to be teaching yoga and to have the opportunity to pass on to others the joy and freedom she has found in her practice. Find her at www.christinemalossi.com or on Facebook.